Disclaimer: This post is NOT intended as a passive agressive call-out. I don’t have any particular “perfect seeming” women in mind and if I did, this post would make me a hypocrite, which isn’t my jam. I’m writing this post as someone who is continually asked this question. xo
The number one question that I hear (well, let’s be honest…it might be tied with Are they all yours?) is how in the WORLD do you do it all?
And you know what my answer is? I don’t.
I don’t y’all!
And it will do me and you and struggling moms a disservice if I lie about it. The simple answer is that I don’t.
I do some things well. I love my family and I love my job. When my house is clean and I’m working out every day, I don’t have time for my quiet time and devotionals in the morning. When I read every day and make healthful dinners I’m not connecting with my husband the way I want to. When I’m spending the time with my children that they deserve and keeping the house clean I’m not spending any time being creative in any way.
I’ts a constant process and a constant juggling act.
I might look like I/we have it all together, but at any given time there is a laundry pile the size of Kilimanjaro in my basement or a pile of dishes sky-high in the sink. I don’t wear makeup but maybe once a month, I don’t get manicures, I don’t do my hair. My bed isn’t ever made. There are too many days in a row, especially when Jimmy is gone, when dinner consists of Eggos or pasta with butter and ham or GASP- Lunchables. I drive a freaking Odyssey/french fry graveyard that’s old as dirt (she’s named the swagger wagon) and any time you see one of those sliding doors open you WILL see trash fall out. Shrug.
I will never live a Pinterest-worthy, influencer worthy life.
And you know what? I DON’T WANT TO.
I have to let those expectations go and not feel guilt about them.
The mess is a happy mess. My children are loved. They are thriving. We are so happy and we are together and that’s alllll we ever want.
Oh, but in the interest of full disclosure…we aren’t always happy and shiny either. There is much fighting. Cats and dogs fighting. Door slamming fighting. There are many deep breaths and prayers and trying to do this parenting thing right and not always passing with flying colors. There are days where I raise my voice too much and get a little bit sarcastic and go in my bedroom and cry.
But then there are apologizies. And modeling and asking for grace and forgiveness.
There are days where I just give up, sit down, and cry it out.
Oh, and I may not do it all but some things to help to at least give the illusion of having a handle on things.
- a good planner
- being really dedicated about organization
- the help of an amazing husband and some great kids
- sking for (and accepting-the hard part!!) help when I need it
- a bi-monthly housekeeper
- a gym membership (where- let’s be honest…I don’t glow and prance around like an enchanted gazelle. I shoot the ceiling with the band and accidentally kick the balls and trip over my limbs)
- good friends that I can be myself around.
But make sure you leave this post knowing this. I don’t do it all.
Outside the corner of every pretty vignette I post on IG there is guaranteed to be a pile of crap I’m shoving to the side.
If you, dear reader, were here…I’d invite you into my grimy or shiny kitchen (depending on the day) and pour you a cup of coffee (or prosecco?) and we’d talk it out. I’d invite you to take off your bra and put on pants without a waist band and let the facade drop. Ponytails would be donned and makeup would be removed. Cute shoes would be tossed aside and chipped nail polish would be exposed. We’d talk about the fact that NO ONE has it all together. And that trying to look like we do is exhausting as hell. And the fact a beautiful Instagram full of perfect hair and perfect children and a flawless home is a brand, which is lovely to look at and aesthetically pleasing, but it’s not real life. And it’s not something that should make you feel bad about yourself. We are all flawed. We are all doing the best we can, and NONE OF US are doing it all.
We are just doing the best we can and praying that it’s enough.
If you are struggling today, I see you. You are worthy. You are enough. You are AMAZING.
Love to you all!