I’ve had this tab open in my browser for two days. The cursor keeps blinking at me and the publish button is mocking me. And still I can’t write anything.
I’ve thought about it. I could write a book post or a fall fashion post. I could write about Sadie losing her first tooth or Venice or the live chess match we went to.
I could write about lots of things but when I try to type the words out I just end up…not doing it.
I’m sitting here tonight staring at this screen yet again. There are a million things I should be doing but I really want to blog. I want to write something, put it out there, talk to myself, and connect with others all at the same time.
As I sat here pondering what to write about for the zillionth time this week, it hit me. Just write.
So that’s what I’m doing tonight. No rhyme or reason, no topic, no agenda. I’m not going to think about it first or edit myself. No hemming and hawwing. No backspacing. I just feel like getting something down and hitting publish.
This world is so scary right now. I mean, rationally I realize that the world is always scary. But between the sad horrible things that humans are doing to one another, the horrendous diseases ravaging and taking lives, and the other stuff. Terrifying people and things and groups. Things that have me changing the name of my blog and wondering what I can talk about. And again- rationally I realize that terrorists depend on scaring us. And that we simply cannot let them win. But dammit, it’s enough to make me want to crawl into a bubble with my babies and never come out.
What helps? Prayer. Exercise. Being with my friends and my precious family. Just living.
But it can be paralyzing if you let it. The what-ifs can stop you right in your tracks if you let them.
Whew. Feels good just typing that.
Life is crazy busy (You know I HATE that word and the glorification of it-but it’s true) right now. I feel like the days are passing in a blur and I can barely catch my breath. Volunteering and exploring and traveling and exercising and running a taxi for four little girls. The best kind of crazy but oh it’s crazy. I long for a day in yoga pants and no bra! That sounds like heaven to me right now. To all of you working moms, I wish I could hug and high five each one of you right now. You are my heroes. I realize that I truly don’t have anything on my plate compared to each of you and I just want to tell you you rock.
But life is good. We are all healthy and that is such a gift. I am grateful for each and every day with my girls and J. Even in the midst of the dish washing and endless driving and spill wiping and ponytail tying…even when I’m breaking up fights and yelling too much and pulling my hair out- life is beautiful.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings today. Back to regularly scheduled programming soon.