like you're less than
less than perfect
pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
like you're nothing
you are perfect to me.
i was listening to this song on the way home from harper's school this morning and it made me think.
about how sometimes i feel overwhelmed with the ENORMITY of raising four little women.
blessed and burdened all at once.
scared, hopeful, like i'm feeling my way down a path in the dark. and the path is HUGE and surrounded by complicated, twisted terrain.
and there are lots and lots of offshoots on this path. many branches. and i want so badly to get to the right place.
but i have NO idea where i'm going, and my flashlight is only casting a TINY beam into the pitch-darkness.
that's how i feel some days.
i have so much i want to teach them.
raising women is scary. as is raising men. whole other set of responsibilites there. but i have no knowledge in that area, what i worry about is raising strong, confident, virtuous women.
i know they are only four,three, and four months old.
i know this.
but how do i NOT think about the days to come? i must. i must start praying,learning, and preparing now.
much like major howell is already worried about the dating days. even though i say it's the BOYS that should be worried *wink*.
much like he fears those days, i think about the days ahead. the complicated days where everyone is NOT nice. where everyone is NOT kind. where others use words like weapons, thoughtlessly, not realizing the power words have.
**because even though sticks+stones can break our bones, we know that words can CRUSH sometimes**
the days where they might feel tempted to place their worth on what boys think of them, what others think of them...
the days where a single nasty remark from someone they thought was their friend might break their heart and send them home dejected and weary.
the days they feel they have to BE a certain girl, DO certain things to fit in...
oh yes i think about those days. when i'm smelling cate and lucy's baby smell, or holding sadie's hand, or watching harper learn to read, i think.
j and i talk about this all.the.time.
we want to teach them to be confident, graceful, kind...to realize their worth and that they are WORTH more than some boy.worth more than the perception of others.
to trust in the Lord with all of their hearts and lean not on their own understanding.
i could go on and on. and i can't believe some days i've been given this enormous gift. this enormous responsibility.
so i keep walking, feeling my way, praying.
confident i will get there, even though some days i make many wrong turns, some days i slip-up.
but my goal remains the same...to love them, protect them, teach them, catch them when they fall.
we'll get there.