don't get me wrong, sometimes i pretend they are NOT mine. like when we are at the store and the babies are screeching and trying to pull things off of the shelves, and sadie and harper are fighting about thestupidestthingever like...oh, i don't know...WHO LOOKS MORE LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS????
oh yes, at moments like that in the produce section at publix-i stare off into the distance and make a face like who ARE these children and who do they belong to?
or when we are home and they have annihilated the entire house? despite the fact that i worked on it for six hours that day? and the babies have gotten into an entire box of yogurt cheerios, dumped it over on the floor, and are shoveling handfuls in their mouths while yelling UH OHHHHHH. and i have ONLY gone to the restroom for 10 seconds and HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE???? AND WHY IS SADIE JUMPING IN THE CHEERIO PILE????
at moments like that i can't believe they are mine. and i verrrrry slowly creep back into the bathroom, close the door with a quiet click, and scream ""who aaaaaaaaaaare these CHILDREN????"!
and while i'm in the bathroom i look in the mirror. i look at my frizzy hair and the circles under my eyes. and i think...what happened to the put together witty girl? the one that could make anyone laugh? the one that wore makeup and could talk about things other than her children? what happened to her? and IS THAT A CHEERIO IN MY HAIR? WHO ARE YOU?
yes, there are plenty of moments like those. plenty of moments where i want to RESIGN from this job. i do NOT want to be the resident cook, booger wiper, diaper changer, tear dryer, fear slayer, toy picker upper, laundry and dish washer for ONE MORE MOMENT. no one ever notices the work i do, everyone only thinks about themselves,i never get taken care of,i am TIRED.
see that? that's how i feel some days. yes, i just typed that out. yes, i just admitted that.
sorry...i ain't perfect.
especially when jimmy has been gone for days and days and days...and when he IS here-he's not really,you see. up before dawn and home after bedtime for the girls.
sometimes i think i can't (WON'T?) take it for
one
more
moment.
and usually i have to pray. and sometimes i have to cry. and more than likely these moments involve a glass of wine.
and before i know it it's better. and of course I DO IT. and i don't QUIT. because that just isn't an option is it?
and then there's THESE moments...looking at these photos makes me feel like my heart is going to explode. looking at these photos fills me with awe that they belong to ME. us. how are we so blessed?
i love these girls so much. i love their tiny hands and feet, their crocodile tears. i love who they are becoming, the plans the Lord has for them.
i love their defiance (SADIE), their sensitivity (HARPER), their snuggliness (LUCY) and their independence (CATE).
i love them even when they have driven me to the brink of insanity. i love them even when they disappoint me. i love them every moment of every day...even in the absolute WORST moments.
even when i am thinking WHO ARE THESE MANIACS? i love them.
i mean, just look at them! thank you carrie for capturing them (and who they are ) so beautifully!
and so today begins. wishing YOUR day is full of happiness,hugs,and laughter. and if it's more of a screaming,fighting,I'MLOSINGMYMINDDAY...think of me when you're hiding in the bathroom, won't you? we'll share a virtual "cheers".
xoxo
s
