there is so much i could say and so much i don't know how to say.

what happened to those precious babies in connecticut makes me sob.

it makes me want to scream until i have no voice left.

it makes me want to whisper this is bullshit.over and over and over and over and over. WHY?

it makes me wonder if there is any good left in this world (even though i know there is).

it makes me get down on my knees and pray until there is no prayer left in me.

i was the first one in harper's carpool line yesterday. i held sadie in my lap all the way through the line as tears dripped down my face. i wanted my girls with me and i wanted them home.

part of me feels that i will never let them leave this home again (even though i know that's not reasonable).

schools

movie theaters

malls.

it's everywhere. hatred. voilence. fear.

those parents. those students. those teachers and administrators. the citizens of that sweet little town. right before christmas? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?

i can't take it. it is agonizing. and wrong. and evil.

but i believe that there is light. that there is good. this prayer from max lucado says it better than i ever could.

i wanted to share it with all of you.

sending you love,comfort,light,hugs,and hope.

s

 

Dear Jesus, 

It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,

Your Children