Just me My Soldier and our 4 little chicks

Ouch! My heart!!

or maybe my ovaries? yes..ouch.my ovaries. i'm just being honest here.

there is nothing like a handsome,strong man holding a tiny baby. NOTHING. it makes me weak in the knees.

this is my friend kerryellen's new baby...baby "a" we'll call her. she is a doll baby.

i was holding her this weekend and jimmy's eyes kept cutting towards her in my arms.

over and over i caught him peeking.

so with a sigh i handed her over.

i never would have thought he'd love babies more than i do. if you would have told me that 11 years ago i would have fallen down on the floor laughing.

you know what? nothing in this world is more attractive than a tough man holding a baby. period.

now excuse me while i swoon. :)

happy tuesday!

xoxo

irony

is it ironic that a beginning can also seem like an ending??

on saturday afternoon, both of my baby girls took their first steps.

cate first...she let go of my fingers with a grin firmly in place. and she took two wobbly steps before collapsing in my arms with a giggle.

lucy girl was next. she took two lunging steps, interrupting jimmy right as he was saying "who knows when she'll walk with those thunder thi....".

i remember harper's first steps (to jimmy, in her bedroom at 12 months old) and sadie's first steps (to my mother-jimmy was deployed-at 10 months old). i remember them like they were yesterday. but they weren't.

and as the girls walked to me, i tried to hide my teary eyes with loud laughter and whoops of joy. but a tear or two escaped as it hit me-

"these are the last first steps i will witness".

and i think i am okay with that, but it breaks my heart a little bit.

i know there will be so many more firsts. so many more. but for a moment i wanted to treasure THESE first steps. savor them, revel in them, imprint them in my memory.

the day both of my babies walked.my last babies.

now? on to something new. :) BABY CAGES. just kidding. sort of. leashes?

xoxo

s

why is it

that women...well some women

feel the need to make everything into a competetion?

i really truly don't get it. is it to make others feel inadequate? is it to validate themselves?

if you were to see a struggling mama feeding a baby a bottle, why would you say "oh, i breastfed my babies exclusively until TWO. a bottle NEVER touched their lips".

i never know what to say to things like that.

"yay you?"

"congratulations!!!!!"

it's the strangest thing.

now don't get me wrong. not all women do this. but i certainly have met plenty who do.

and you know what?

how long you breastfed

or what your baby got on his APGAR

or how long you labored naturally, when i was a wimp who got that horrible epidural...

or when your baby started rolling, crawling, etc. and whether it happened before my baby did those things...

well that is about as important to me as what you got on your SATs in high school.

show me a loved baby, wrapped in adoration, loving arms, tenderness...that's what matters.

it's just the craziest phenomenon. one i never really noticed before harper was born, but why would i have noticed it? mommy competition syndrome wasn't even on my radar yet.

so take me out back and stone me. my babies drink out of bottles. i don't cook from scratch. sometimes my children ingest things that are not organic. i don't even KNOW how long the twins were when they were born.

your child might crawl, walk, talk before mine.

you might beat me in the nursing department.

i don't homeschool. though i applaud those who do, it is not for me. not right now.

i might carry my babies in the carriers sometimes instead of "wearing them".

they have barbies. and some of their toys are PLASTIC! they don't only have hand carved wooden, dye free blocks.

but my girls?
are loved. beyond all measure.

and that can't be beat.

sometimes it's not necessary to name all the ways you are a "better mom" than i am. sometimes it's nice to have some mama solidarity. when i see struggling new mommies? I tell them their babies are beautiful. or i tell them they are doing a great job.

or i offer to help.

then i tell them how SMART, perfect, and unsoiled by commercialism my children are. NARY A FRENCH FRY HAS EVER TOUCHED THEIR LIPS!

kidding. kidding.

oh, and for the record...this post is tongue in cheek (no mullets though!!!). so hopefully you'll appreciate my sense of humor and know that i'm speaking of the "universal YOU".

mamas UNITE!

i don't think it's anyone's business (except for your children, husband, etc) how you love your children best. i feel like women feel the need to preface "hello" with if they breastfeed or not. guess what? i don't really need to know! i just want to be your friend. :)

have a beautiful, blessed tuesday.

xoxo

s

 

 

 

36 weeks

* i look like i'm smuggling a bouncie castle under my dress

* when the lady at WalMart said "YOU ARE HUGE!!!" the other day, i briefly debated saying "and you are rude...at least my problem will be remedied in a few weeks!!" but i didn't. i just smiled.

* not sleeping at all. pretty big braxton hicks every night.

*taking LOTS of baths. LOTS. the water bill will be interesting. HEE!

*working on not being so grumpy. remembering that these babies will come when THEY are ready. not when I am ready.

*feeling so sad that i can't hold my girls really at all any more. i can't pick them up and there's no room left in my lap!

*watching modern family season one on dvd

*reading and resting lots

*i had a complete nervous breakdown tonight (ugly cry and all) b/c i couldn't get the dinner i was trying to eat to my mouth. i literally could NOT get it over my belly. i dropped the bite a few times and then had a meltdown. feeling much better now, actually. it was ridiculous. i was laughing at myself as i was crying. hahahaha!

*so happy with the nursery, my mom worked hard on it today and it's precious.

*listening to lots of cee lo green

*enjoying the time that is left with our family of four. remembering to be grateful, not grumpy. trying my hardest not to worry. it's all in God's hands!

details

first, and from the bottom of my  heart, THANK YOU! thank you for the outpouring of love and excitement that you've shared with my family the past couple of days.

i can't even tell you how wonderful i think you all are. thank you for your good wishes, for your joy.

so this picture clearly has nothing to do with a baby,

but it demonstrates all the waiting the girls are going to have to do over the coming months.

b/c they want a baby NOW! they try to talk to "him" (as harper says?!?!?!?) through my belly button. and i keep telling them how little the baby is, and how long we have to wait...but you try explaining that concept to them.

it's verrrry early days yet.

but i couldn't keep my mouth shut for a few reasons.

a. i'm RIDICULOUSLY tired. i keep trying to sneak upstairs and hide in bed, and then one of the girls finds me and that dream is shattered. no rest this pregnancy, i tell you!

b. i am already having creativity issues. with my last pregnancy, i HATED scrapbooking with the wrath of a million suns. hated it. the smell of my craft room made me dry heave. i am praying that that isn't the case this time, but i am already NOT feeling creative. that pertains to blogging, and y'all would have figured it out way soon.

as a matter of fact, i've alread gotten emails, FB comments the past week (MONTHS!!) asking if i was pregnant. and i kept saying no, but i guess the power of suggestion finally worked. HEE!

c. i was inspired by my friend April to go ahead and share that i was pregnant. April (HALLELUJAH!!) is pregnant after several rounds of IVF. she has been so open and transparent about the entire thing, and i've been so inspired and touched by her honesty. it's in my nature to share, so i just went ahead and told everyone.

d. is it bad that i knew everyone would know here as *soon* as i turned down a glass of wine? what? it's just not in my nature. HA!!

so here we are. i'm suspecting i'm due in december. and we are thrilled and terrified all at once. isn't it funny how it works like that?

jimmy, especially, can't wipe the grin off of his face:

 

he's positively giddy. if it was up to james carr howell, we'd have as many kids as the Duggars.

*shudder*.

and harper? she's in heaven:

 

we told her we had some big news to tell her.

she's been so worried about why i'm so tired. why i keep "wanting to BARF!!" her words, not mine.

she said "I THINK I KNOW THE BIG NEWS!!"

and jimmy asked her what she thought

and she said "THERES A BABY BRUDDER COMING TODAY!!!"

and we said not today and told her we had to wait but that yes, there was a baby coming.

and she said "OH, dat's the big news?? (insert sad,deflated look)

and j told her that there was a baby in my tummy right NOW!
and she said

"OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this IS REALLY GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!"

and then she jumped up and down and kept trying to pull up my shirt. and then we let her call our parents to tell them. it went something like this.

"BB? i have some WONDERFUL news you won't bewieve!!! I"M HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!"

i mean really, it makes me tear up just thinking of it. her age is so fun for her to experience this. i just know i'm going to have so many good stories. HA!

and sadie? not really interested. she just keeps pointing at me and yelling "BIG BELLY!!" (uh, thanks, that ain't baby you're seeing, sadie) and also "MY BABYYYYYYYYY!" in kind of a psycho way that frightens me a bit.

so that about covers it. and man, i am TIRED. must.sleep. i can't even tell you how long it's taken me to write this post b/c it's sad. teeheee!

one more thing (well technically three).

i wanted to share my sneaks for the May Studio Calico kit, Granny's Cupboard.

i got the main kit, linens & lace, trinkets, and more add-on patterned paper.

i've done four layouts, and I'd love to do more, but not sure if i will. Maybe I will have a burst of energy!!

Trinkets

Linens & Lace

 

Main, Trinkets, Linens & Lace, shop extras

oh dear Lord have mercy. if i don't end this post now, it will nevereverever get posted.

but i want to say this one more time...thank you. truly.

love you all, happy thursday!

xoxo

s