Just me My Soldier and our 4 little chicks

BYH-February

I'm long overdue for a BYH post, so today I decided to go for it.

Here are the rules, in case you are new:

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.

3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. if you BYH, link back here. i'll add an inlinkz tool at the end of the post. i always read and comment on every single post.

5. feel free to use the graphic above. just make sure to link back to me.

Here goes.

I still wear a maternity sweater. True story. It is the most comfortable and warm thing I've ever worn in my entire life. I use it like a robe and put it on over my pajamas until I've gotten dressed for the day. Embarassing. Heidi Klum...maybe you could make a sweater that's the same, just not for Motherhood Maternity? Or I can just cut the tag out. I'll go with that. Ignorance is bliss. :)

There is a really big chance that we are moving to another country this summer. Word won't be official until April or so, but we are almost certain. But, to be honest,certainty is never certain with the Army. We are so nervous and excited. Tempo per una grande avventura. Hopefully.

I was on the "healthy eating bandwagon" for about a month and a half. And I felt so good. And then I fell off. And I've been beating myself up about it. But what I need to do is just start again. Why is it so easy to quit? Ugh.

I am so happy creatively right now. I love making pages again...it has really become a joy to me. For a long time it was a chore. And that's no good. Right now...when I make something I am grinning the entire time. I love that and I don't want it to ever go away.

I've spent a long time thinking about reintroducing sponsors. When I talked about it a few weeks ago, I caught some flak. Some of you said that I was compromising my integrity. I want to take a moment to explain that that will never ever happen.

Content will not change. I will continue to spotlight small businesses that I believe in and use regularly (with or without sponsoring me).Think of it as an extension of my "small business spotlight" series.

You know what happened when I put up the call for advertisers? I got a handful of emails from companies I love  and have consistently talked about here for years.

For those of you who really know me...you know I would never change the authenticity of this blog. This blog is my  happiness, my joy, and my therapy and will never become a flashing ad.

If that was going to happen, it probably would have already happened at some point in the past six years.

I just have to find a way to balance hobby and job.

There. Just had to get that off my chest. :)

As I type this post, the snow is swirling out side. Looks like we are getting our first true blizzard. We are well-stocked and prepared (water,wine,sleds,food) and actually very excited. Wish us luck! And Nemo?? Really? That conjures up images of a clown fish and Ellen DeGeneres. So weird.

Made the decision to start Project Life 2013. This time I am using a smaller format and going for easy and affordable.

I'm using the Simple Stories Sn@p page protectors and binders, and the cards are a mix of Paislee Press kits that I've purchased, cards I've accumulated in the past, and free downloads I've found online.

I simply could not do a 12x12 format anymore. Too cumbersome and we move too often to take all of those albums.

Here is my PL Pinterest board.

When Liz Tamanaha's project life kit comes out this spring, I plan on purchasing it. But until then, I'm on my own. :)

When Harper was a baby she was always dressed flawlessly. Hair accessories down to her shoes and socks...she was the best dressed baby/toddler ever.

Sadie was similar. A fair amount of Hanna Andersson and Boden.

The babies? Uhhhh...not so much. They stay in their footsies most days. Why? Well, first of all, they have a propensity for taking off their close and hiding them or throwing them away.

Second...it's just easier. True story.

Until the next size up (in the hand-me-down bins) comes out of the basement. Then it's like Christmas morning. Right now Cate is in cute Garnet Hill pants and a CrewCuts top. HA!

 

Okay, that's it for this month.

Hope lots of you will join in. And make sure to say hey in the comments! It's always nice to connect via comments when you put yourself out there!

Happy Friday!

xoxo

BYH-September

it's high time i do one of these. do you remember the "rules"?

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.

3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. if you BYH, link back here. i'll add an inlinkz tool at the end of the post. i always read and comment on every single post.

5. feel free to use the graphic above. just make sure to link back to me.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

okay, here goes nothing. :)

1. i don't like facebook anymore. the petty drama, the angry political b.s. (i can't even believe i'm seeing some of the hatred that's being spewed there), the complaining...i really think i'm over it. i like being able to easily connect with friends that are all over the globe, but i think i'm done posting there for the most part. you really see people's true colors on FB, don't you? i much prefer instagram and twitter anyway. i am just disappointed with some things i've seen on FB.

♥

2.every time we move there are pros and cons. for example, i might have a great church, but not like the girls school. or i might love the city we live in, but dislike the home we are in. here? i love the city, the house, the scenery, the girls schools...but i don't have any friends. and i don't see that changing.

it's hard because i had the most AMAZING group of friends in sav. you know, you've heard me talk about them 93840238 times. i miss kerryellen. i miss all of the ladies that are still in savannah. it is different here because j is a student. no community of wives, no FRG. i feel very isolated.

it's only a year, and j is home every day...so i'm just fine. but man, my heart misses girlfriends.

♥

3.i'm a little nervous about what the future will hold. we are having to make some big decisions right now. i have learned that the future doesn't always go the way you think it will. or the way you want it to. sometimes you have to give up control...and i'm not great at that.

♥

4. i only ran a handful of times in the month of september. that makes me feel simultaneously crappy about myself...and determined to start again. i just feel like there is only time in the day for so many things.

i can't keep our home clean, take care of all four girls, be involved at school, drive the girls around town, work from home, have a healthy marriage, have the kind of relationship i want with God,scrapbook,have a blog, AND exercise. so something's got to give. and i'll tell you, that some of the things in the list above are NOT going. still figuring out how to make it work.

♥

5. we need to find a church here. we had an amazing church home in savannah and i miss it so much. i feel like a part of me is missing...this needs to be a priority.now.

♥

6.i have really perfected the art of saying "no thank you" in the past year. and i feel so much happier because of it. recently i've started saying "yes,please" to things that are really a good fit for me. things i want to do. and it's exciting. no more doing things because i'm supposed to. or because i feel like i have to. or because everyone else thinks they are the "in" things to do. what is this scrapbooking industry, junior high? of course it's not. so silly and i don't want to do that again.

♥

7.i am really happy to be doing project life again. it fulfills me in a way that i didn't know i was needing to be fulfilled. i am still in a conundrum,though. it's so MUCH. two albums a year? where the hell am i going to put all of them? that's too much. still haven't figured that one out either. but it's something i love, so i'm doing it.

♥

8.i need to get better at just letting the girls play and be loud. heck, i need to get better at actually playing with them. 

♥

9.speaking of the girls, man do they FIGHT. from the moment they wake up they fight. i.cannot.take.it. i'm about to lose my everloving mind. i've never seen anything like it. but of course, i don't have sisters. so i have no point of reference. even the babies fight! they pull each other's hair and claw/slap. dear lord have mercy on my soul.

 

okay. there's my random brain/heart dump for the month. i hope y'all will join in. just link through the inlinkz tool below.

love y'all!

xoxo

 

 

 

 

BYH-may

I had someone ask on Twitter if it was time for a Blog Your Heart (thanks Smitha!) and I realized...oh POOP- when is the last time I did a Blog Your Heart?

And I don't even know. The intent was for it to be the last day of the month but somewhere along the way I stopped doing it.

So today I'm doing it.

Here is the idea behind BYH:

1.Blog whatever is on your heart. It can be serious,silly,angry,happy,blunt,ridiculous. It can be ANYTHING but it has to be authentic (yes,there's that dang buzz word...but to be fair I've been a proponent of authenticity for a long time). The post can be long or short, doesn't matter.

 

2.No judging. No snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs. If you are goingto read the blogs linked in the comments, don't be mean.

 

3. If you play along- link in the comments. I always read and comment on every single blog and alot of you do. I've noticed a cool community of women that grows out of these posts.

 

Here goes.

1.I am getting that perturbed feeling I get leading up to Memorial Day. I'm already seeing the tweets,the ads,etc. about Memorial Day being "the kick off for summer!!!" the "biggest party" etc. I can't deal with it. I get that most people aren't in the military lifestyle. I get that. I don't expect them to be. But the blatant...I don't know miseducation? ignorance? on Memorial Day makes my stomach ache. I've made a choice that I have to stay away from the internet this year. It may sound harsh,but it's the way i feel. Memorial day is MORE than a picture of the beach and a post about the party you are going to. I'm sorry,but it is.

I get that it is a party for most. Heck,many of my amazing army wife friends are having BBQs. I am not asking people to be gloomy and depressed all day. I am not asking people to not have fun. The basic lack of awareness just makes my stomach hurt. I know this is a personal issue...it most likely always will be to me.

 

2.I fell off the TurboFire wagon.Sigh. Sick kids,migraines,laziness....I have a million excuses but the fact is I stopped. And I strongly dislike myself for it. So today I start. I'm not saying I won't lose track again...but I'm not giving in to the giving up.

 

3.I have a love/hate relationship with scrapbooking right now. I love the process (sometimes),hate what I make. It's been like that since J left. I only have time for assignments lately. I stopped Project Life completely. I have all this great stuff and I never use it. I got burned out on the competitiveness and self-promotion I saw. I am not into that and it made me lose track on WHY I create. In July my official obligations are over. I plan to get back to my roots and why I did this in the first place.

 

4.My mom comes next week. I have never been more grateful or more ready for a helping pair of hands. I've felt "on the verge" lately. On the verge of crying, screaming, saying I CAN'T DO THIS. I want to have FUN with my girls. No worry, no what should i be doing,no guilt. I am ready to play and my mom is the master of that.

 

5.This past weekend we had a senior leader's forum. I was part of a small group that had one on one conversation with Annie McChrystal and Lisa Faris (among others). It was amazing,inspiring...pinch me wonderful. We had this forum that we will never have again. A chance to ask,admit,wonder anything...and get feedback from amazing leaders. To say it was a rare gift is an understatement.

 

6.I miss blogging. I am happier and more me when I blog. I am committed to taking time for me again, getting up earlier than the girls again...and blogging. It is therapy that I need and not doing it has worn me down. It's important to me and I need to make time for it.

 

7. I LOVE my job at MME.It is great being creative and using a part of my brain for someone other than my children. It has been so good for my morale and that is something I didn't expect.

 

 

Whew- I guess I needed to do one of these posts! If you are reading today,please say hi. These are always very vulnerable posts to do, but I feel better when I do and many of you can identify.

If you BYH today, feel free to snag the graphic but (as always) link back here.

Have a beautiful day, my friends.

xoox

 

 

blog your heart {a challenge}

so, looking back, it appears i unintentionally skipped a  month. oops! sorry y'all...i guess life got in the way. :)

a reminder- blog your heart is whatever you want it to be (silly,humorous,dark,sarcastic,angry,happy)...as long as it's authentic. no trying to look perfect, no saying what you think others want to hear.

no judging.

so, in no particular order, here's my heart this month.

1. i'm worried a little bit about our time in rhode island. i've never spent a year with jimmy home every day. i'm worried i'll learn to depend on him too much. i'm worried i'll resent him and the army when we have to go back to the real world. i'm worried i won't be as good of a parent with him to depend on.

 

2. i need to work on my scrapbooking. i read kelly purkey's blog post this morning and part of it spoke to me. i'm tired of feeling like scrapbooking is my job. guess what? it's NOT. it neither qualifies as a full time or part time job.

it's a hobby. i have loved it for seven years and lately it's lost its luster. time to play again. time to get passionate again. time to stop caring if i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing. time to get back to me. i am going to make things i'm proud of again. learn some techniques. put my heart back into my pages. i want to make things i'll treasure, not things i'm getting done just to get them done.

conversly, i do the design teams to share what i LOVE and to inspire. it might not be a full time or part time job but it IS my job to inspire. it's not happening lately. i am going to work on it. try harder. work harder. this year i will get back to loving (and having FUN) creating.

 

3.i am done having babies. this both terrifies and exhilarates me. last night we sat next to a family with four children (probably 9 to 16 or so). they were having a family dinner. with conversation. and laughter. no crayons or potty breaks. i am ready to grow together. i am ready for new stages. but i will miss babies so much...in such an intense way. i can't even type it out here or do that feeling justice so i won't try.

 

4.i need to get back to the gym. and back to taking care of myself. there. i said it.

 

5.i am so in love with my husband. more so every day. some days we irritate each other. some days we barely see each other except in passing and some days that's okay b/c i need to be independent. but i love him so much it makes my heart hurt. he is every bit the man i dreamed i'd marry one day (but never dared to think such a guy was real). he's brave and handsome. flawed but he is perfect to me.

 

6.i am ready for the girls to go back to school this week. i love them so much and love having them home, but i think we are all sick of one another. HA! sadie and harper are fighting so much. we need a break. when we have a break a few hours a day, it makes our time together so much sweeter.

 

7.i am content. but at the same time there is much i want to learn, see, and do this year. i want to take better care of myself. make more of an effort with the way i look. make more of an effort with my heart, with my spiritual growth. but with every passing year, i feel more of a peace in my heart. more of a stilness. more of a "this is me" and "this is where i'm supposed to be".

there's more i could say...always more. :) but i think i'll stop there.

if you blog your heart, please link me. feel free to use my icon and link back. :) i have read and commented on each and every post every month i do this. and i always will.

love to you all, and happy 2012~ xoxo

blog your heart {a challenge}

***giveaway still open below!! ***

 

so here's how this works. monthly i will post this challenge to you. it's a pretty simple challenge. blog your heart. HONESTLY. it can be silly, funny, serious, short or long...whatever you want it to be. as long as it is authentic.

no judging on what is shared. :) also you don't have to blog, you can share in the comments.

 

last month i read every single entry (and commented) that was posted here. i will do the same every month. but you have to post a working link for me to do so. :)

 

please feel free to use the graphic above...but please link back to this post!

here's my heart this month.

 

1. i have completely fallen off of the exercise bandwagon. completely. i have only worked out 3x since jimmy came home. i am FURIOUS with myself. i feel bad about myself, i'm not fitting in clothes i was fitting in, i feel sloppy. i keep telling myself "next week i'll start again" and i never do. i've had enough. it is absolutely RIDICULOUS that i have reversed all of the hard work i did this summer.

 

2. i have horrible nails. i bite them and there is never polish on them. the last manicure i got was the day before my wedding.

 

3. i have this weird thing where i really don't want to like what EVERYONE is nuts over at the moment. if there is a tv show, movie or book (twilight!!!) or gadget (cameo!) that everyone is tweeting/blogging/talking about, for some reason it makes me not want to get sucked into the hoopla. i know. ridiculous. but i've always been like that. lots of times i give in (iPad), lots of times i don't (twilight,harry potter).

 

4.this is going to sound nuts to you guys, but i'm a better mother when J is gone. i am more patient. you see, when i KNOW someone is coming home at the end of the night i am less patient. i know i have reinforcements soon. :) when he is gone, i know there is no help coming, no rest for the weary...and i am much better with the girls. i know, crazy huh?

 

5. i worry way too much (in my head) i am always thinking of things that could happen to the girls and it terrifies me. it's enough to make me want to keep them wrapped in the safe bubble wrap confines of our home forever. but of course this is ridiculous. luckily, this is in my head and not projected or verbalized.

 

6. i need to work on my faith. i pray steadfastly, but i need to fit in quiet time. i need to join a small group. i need to grow.

 

7. i want my girls to love reading like i do. i want them to LONG for a good book...to escape into a story the way i do. harper is not reading (completely) yet. i'm fine with that. she can read plenty of words. i vowed i would never be that teacher turned mom who pushed my children. i just REALLY want her to learn to read so that she can fall in love with it. we just started charlotte's web and she loves it.

 

8. a lot of times i read other blogs and feel inadequate. don't get me wrong...i LOVE my life and feel very blessed. but i do not have a home straight out of a magazine, i don't travel, i'm not always impeccably dressed. i don't have it all together. the thing is, i realize they probably don't either. and that makes me feel better. i will never be that girl. i'm not sure i would want to be that girl. but sometimes i think i want to!

 

okay, that's it for today. that's what's on my heart.

what about you? spread the word, and link in the comments.

xxo

s