Just me My Soldier and our 4 little chicks

truth.

Last week when I was traveling home from CHA I had a four hour layover in Chicago.

I found this on a mirror in the ladies room and I had to snap a photo.

Who knew an airport bathroom could be so deep?

Isn't that the truth?

You know what's funny? I am so hard on myself. Why do I allow myself to speak to me that way?

I wouldn't take it from friends. Jimmy would never speak to me that way.

So why is it okay for me to tear myself down? To have unrealistic expectations for myself?

It's not okay. And something I've struggled with my entire life. I used to have the worst self-confidence ever. And it's gotten SO much better over the years.

But it's always a work in progress. Being kind to myself. Being gentle. Encouraging myself. Not expecting myself to be perfect.

Seeing the real me in the mirror. The one who is perfectly imperfect just the way she is.

Learning to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously.

Remembering that I only get to do this once and I want to do it right.

That's my lifelong challenge.

I constantly strive to teach my daughters to love and accept themselves. And I'm teaching myself at the same time.

Sometimes it just takes a bathroom mirror to give me that gentle reminder. :)

Who would have thunk it?

xoxo

34-->35

In the year I was 34, I...started to run, started working a part time job, moved to Rhode Island, quit all my design teams, saw Baltimore for the first time, made a new group of friends and several best friends, threw a last minute party with a good friend, said goodbye to my best friend and then welcomed him home from Afghanistan, became a mother of four WALKING children, got together with a group of friends and rode a huge bicycle with a bar down the middle, met my favorite author, participated in my first charity race, saw Roman Holiday on the big screen, took all four children to the beach by myself, saw a beautiful and young friend say goodbye to her beautiful and young husband, realized who I was and was not creatively, celebrated 9 years of marriage, saw my very first Savannah St. Patrick's Day parade, got the shortest haircut I've ever had, dyed my hair red, dyed it back to brunette, visited Charleston for the first time, started Project Life, quit Project Life, visited St. Augustine, visited Hilton Head, visited Jacksonville, visited Sea World and Orlando, planned and threw a rainbow themed party for Sadie, perfected the art of saying no thank you, had my feelings hurt by someone and realized the power of words, said goodybe to the best group of friends i've ever had, really fell in love with Savannah, planned and threw my very first cookie exchange, watched a Baylor Bear win the Heisman, attended the Ranger Ball with Jimmy, spent my first 2 nights away from my children, sent my first child off to kindergarten, watched my babies turn one, my eldest turn six, and my second born turn four,got better at getting in the photos and not just taking them, saw a Savannah Philharmonic Sept. 11 concert, saw a coin in an x-ray of Sadie's stomach,started taking care of myself agin.

 

In the year I am 35,I will...run a 5k, teach myself to sew (yes,this was on last year's list),attend CHA, teach a scrapbooking class at a LSS, visit NYC at least 5 times, celebrate my 10 year anniversary, try a yoga class, finally teach that BPC scrapbooking class, eat more lobster, visit Boston, visit Maine, visit Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket, continue feeling creatively free and only say yes to things that are authentic and that are me, exercise regularly with my family, go to a concert, have online friends come to visit, NOT SEND MY HUSBAND TO AFGHANISTAN AT ALL, learn too cook some new meals, have lots of date nights, make time for one-on-one time with the girls, put myself out there and not be scared to ask for my heart's desires, visit the MME headquarters in Utah, do CrossFit with J, take lots of classes at the YMCA, meet Leigh and Kelly in person for the first time, potty train two babies, embrace imperfection, read more, have a big family Thanksgiving, have FUN!

 

I am blessed to be given another year. I am grateful for the gift of each day. Bring it on, 35!

xoxo

check!

i've wanted red hair forever and now i can officially check that off my bucket list.

my friend jen did it...she's coming over this weekend to add some golden/caramel highlights. YAY!

i say life's too short to not experiment with your hair. i wore mine up every day and hated it anyway...so here's to red!

working again...check.

dye my hair...check.

what next? something wonderful, i just know it!

happy happy weekend.

xxo

s

i'll always be the girl

i'll always be the girl that laughs just a little too loud in a place that's a little too quiet.

 

you know...the one that snorts, too.

the one that's just a little bit awkward.

 

 

i'll always be the girl that ends up rushing to get ready no matter how early she started.

 

the girl that has the tendency to have a hard time finding friends she can hand her heart to. the girl that makes friends easily and has many social friends but few that know her inside and out.

 

i'll always be the girl that tends to trip over things. even things that aren't there.

the girl who can't stand passive agressiveness

and mean girls. the girl who despised mean girls and the mean girl mentality at 12. and despises it even more in adults.

 

i'll always be the girl that gets song lyrics wrong. and then sings them loudly.

 

the girl that says she still feels like she's in her twenties in her heart but fully realizes that that's silly b/c she would never want to relive her twenties and loves her thirties SO MUCH more.

the girl that blurts things out without thinking them through (when she is frustrated or mad) and regrets them IMMEDIATELY.

 

the girl who wishes she had zingers when someone is nasty, but never knows what she should have said until HOURS later when the perfect response comes to her.

 

i'll always be the girl that is sick of hearing women that are size zeros talk about how big their butts are.

 

the girl that cries at beautiful songs. and sad movies. and even the x factor.

 

who is horrible at math. and cooking. and dancing. and doesn't know how to drive stick. or use chopsticks. or whistle.

 

the girl who is good at reading. and loving. and making the best of any situation.

 

i'll always be the 16 year old girl that panics every time she sees a policeman while she is driving, immediately checking her speed and wondering what she's doing wrong...ha!

 

i'll always be that girl that wishes she was more put together, but is happiest in jeans. a girl that loves the kind of jeans that are way too expensive. this girl believes a good pair of jeans can be life changing. :)

 

i'll always be the girl that expects an email back and gets her feelings hurt (or gets kind of ticked off)when she doesn't get one.

 

the girl that thinks inappropriate humor is hilarious and makes her laugh until she cries.

 

the one who prefers her beer in a bottle and her soda in a glass.

 

i'll always be the girl that's happiest when she's at home surrounded by her children and husband.

 

the one that enjoys dressing up and getting out but can't wait to get home

 

the girl who loves the Lord with all of her heart and isn't afraid to tell you so.

 

the one that loves sappy love songs

and hip hop

and hymns.

 

i'll always be the girl that loves with all of her heart, cries too easily, hugs too much,expects a lot, gives a lot. the one who doesn't want to let anyone down, most of all herself.

the one who is still working on being the version of her that is most her.

the girl that's not a girl anymore.

the girl that realizes she IS the version of her she is supposed to be. the one who is finally realizing to enjoy every moment of it.

comfortable in her skin, at home in her heart.

s

the 34 list

random photo taken at 3 am before i went to get j the other day. haha! please note all of his laundry washed and folded in the closet...so funny. :)

sooo...today i turn 34. it's funny. i've never really felt that panic at getting older. not at 30, not this year at 34. in all honesty all i feel is profound gratitude.

at the gift of another year with my family.

and this year? i get to add together to that sentence.

yep. gratitude describes this feeling best.

here are a few things i'd like to do in the next year. no pressure. no HAVE TOs. just WANT TOs.

1.continue to exercise daily

2.try yoga

3.use my sewing machine

4.go on more dates with jimmy

5.get frustrated less

6.relax more

7.volunteer

8.do more "just for fun layouts"

9.take a spinning class

10.see a movie in the theater

11.allow myself to ask for help. and accept it when it is offered.

12.call old friends. see them.

13. make a new friend

14. join a bible study

15. get better at talking about things that are bothering me instead of burying them

16.bake

17.go to 3 new cities

18.go to cha

19.be more assertive

20.re design my blog

21.PLAY more with the girls

22.teach an online scrapbooking class

23.get a manicure

24.donate

25.be okay with saying "no"

26.say thank you more

27.go on a walking tour of savannah

28.re-read to kill a mockingbird

29.go to a concert

30.hand write a love letter

31.run

32.regularly tell the people i love how much they mean to me

33.try a new haircut

34.have a girls night out.

it's funny to see my heart's desires written out like that.

but mostly...i just want to be.

be happy. be together. be grateful. be healthy.

here's to the gift of another amazing year!

happy happy wednesday, friends!

xxo

s

fitness update

**elmer's giveaway open below...go check it out!!**

 

try not to be jealous of the post-workout hair. so purdy. :)

okay. here i am. 3 months into working out 1-2x daily.

well,except for the 2 weeks i was in tx. i did the 30 day shred three times in those 2 weeks, but other than that my workouts consisted of mexican food and wine. nice. :)

i am feeling great. GREAT. it's funny...the number on the scale has only changed by about 5 pounds. but my body is completely different. and even better than that, my i FEEL completely different. i no longer am winded at the top of the stairs.

i can carry the babies around without feeling exhausted.

i feel better about myself. happier.

now if you ask harper she says when i "essercise" i'm sweaty and grumpy.

HAHAHAHA!

i can tell you what this refers to. it refers to when i'm leaving the YMCA and it's 100 degrees and humid and i've just sweated my you-know-what-off for an hour and i'm trying to get the babies to the car and she stops RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and looks around like she's lost and i say HARPER!WHATAREYOUDOING?MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!

yes, sweaty and grumpy a bit. i can admit it.

it's not always fun. it's HARD. lots of days i just want to skip exercising. but i've forced myself to go.

and i'm still working on the "eating healthy" thing. i've made some progress. lots of whole foods, no artificial sweeteners or ingredients. i only eat things i can pronounce. i only drink water (and coffee.i will NEVER get rid of my coffee, sorry).

no more white sugar, flour,pasta,or rice. way more veggies and fruit.

but i'm working on eating regularly. i tend to forget this when J is gone. we are committed to eating healthfully TOGETHER when he gets home. :)

today i thought i'd share some of my favorite exercise-related things with you.

disclaimer: i'm NO expert. i'm not a runner. i'm not a pro athlete. i just go to the gym every day and take a class. and i want to share what has really worked for me.

 

tops:

i LOVE these shaping tops by champion. LOVE them. i cannot say enough good things about them. they wick nicely and they make my stomach look way smaller. which is awesome. i've had four children. my stomach will take a LONG time to fix. and i'm okay with that. but i don't neccessarily want to look at it when i'm exercising. :)

 

but nothing compares to these c9by champion empire tops (i get them at target). i bought all three colors. aqua, purple,black. they FLOW over the stomach.i'm wearing it in the 2nd photo above! and they are fitted up top. i cannot explain my love for these tops. i'm so hoping they make more colors soon.

 

 

pants:

i like a good compression capri. for some odd reason i don't like exercising in shorts. nor do i like pants.

my favorites are the ones from champion (these are the shaping type as well)...LOVE

 

 

and the ruched ones from old navy

shoes:

i haven't gotten a pair of nike free shoes yet, but that's next on my list.

right now i alternate between rykas:

 

and my favorite pair of brooks:

deodorant (yes, i'm going there.what? it's an important gym accessory!)

i LOVE the secret. it lasts long, and doesn't come off easily. the mitchum works amazingly well. almost too well,to be honest. even after a shower i could still smell it and it kind of drove me nuts. but it works.

preferred workouts:

at the gym i take:

zumba

turbokick

step(thinking of dropping this one, it's my friday class and is really starting to bore me).

there is a cardio class i take sometimes that is amazingly hard but so effective. it's like an interval training sort of class. she had us run sprints once and i'm pretty sure i almost keeled over.

30 day shred:

 

really wanting to try turbofire next. i love turbokick and i need something similar to do at home.

so there you have it!

i'm really wanting to get a spin class and a yoga class into my schedule somewhere.

also when j gets home he is going to help me incorporate short crossFit type workouts.

i do so much cardio...i really need to bring in a bit of weight training. i want definition.

hoping someone found this post interesting or helpful...i'm now worried i talked waaaaay toooooo much and that it was boring. sorry! hahaha!

oh, i wanted to add this...i get asked a lot how i fit it in. especially when j's gone. my best answer is...i just do it. i have had a LOT less crafty time the last few months and i think that's just the way it's going to have to be. but there's simply not enough time for everything. when h and s start school it will be easier to balance i think.

happy wednesday!

xoxos

p.s. GO GET THAT FLOWY CHAMPION TOP!!!

 

this i promise *me*

this marks the beginning of a journey that is for ME.

that's right. just for me. yes, in the end it will benefit my girls and j, it will make me healthier,happier,more *me*.

but right now? i'm doing this for myself.

i'm tired of making unhealthy choices. i'm tired of eating unhealthy food constantly, or not eating at all b/c i don't have time to think of it.

i'm tired of having to wear my maternity jeans.

i'm tired of being TIRED.

i'm ready to do something for me. to feel good about myself again.

no more sloppy clothes and hair in a bun every day.

i will *never* be that girl who is flawlessly dressed every day, with perfect makeup. that's just not me.

but i refuse to let myself feel bad about myself because i have four kiddos to take care of.

i'm not using that excuse anymore.

i'm not using the excuse that it's okay to eat whatever i want, no matter how unhealthy b/c i just had twins and no one will judge me.

i am judging me. i need to start being SMART about food. i deserve better than the way i've been taking care of myself.

i treat my children with so much care and love, as if they are precious gifts. why don't i treat myself the same way?

almost 2 weeks ago i made the first step and committed to healthy choices.

it's not about a number on the scale. it's not about the size on my tags. it's about feeling HAPPY. about feeling HEALTHY.

instead of eating fast food regularly or sneaking bites of whatever i feed the kids instead of making myself food,

i'm thinking about my choices.

i deserve just as much as the ones i take care of do. i can do this, by gosh!

it's okay to spend time making MYSELF better. i resolve to do this and to show my girls how to do this.

have a beautiful wednesday! xxo