So if you read my 15 Confessions on the 15th post last week you may have noticed # 4.
4. There is no such thing as ordered line waiting. It’s all just basically a clusterF*&#. There are no straight lines, just groups where everyone is breathing down your back and stepping on your toes. There is no personal space. You will wait for an hour and once you get to the front they will send you to another line where you will wait for another hour. When you get to the front of that line, they will be closed for riposo. You will come back later and start the whole process again, but the person at the front will act like they’ve never seen you before and then they will put up the “Chiuso” sign and go drink coffee.
If you are thinking to yourself…”Self- is this really true? Or is she exaggerating? What does she mean exactly?” Then today is your lucky day!
I’ve got a little story for you. But before I begin my story I think we need a picture to accompany it.
There we go. That’s the best I can do. This photo adequately portrays how I felt during the incident I’m about to describe.
Every year I have to renew the registration on our cars. Since my van is 2010, I have to have it inspected every year… (newer vehicles can skip this part.)
Note: There is one place to get my vehicle inspected and one place to register it.
Last year my van failed inspection. The guy told me to get new rear tires and pop out a dent in my bumper. So I did it. And passed.
This year here’s how it went. Let me break it down for you.
1. I got into line to have my car inspected and waited 2 hours. I got to the front of the line and was promptly sent away because I didn’t have the right copy of my current/about to lapse registration.
2. I went to the registration office and waited an hour to get a copy. I was sent away because they couldn’t just make me a copy. I had to go to the carabinieri (Italian police) and file a lost document report. They needed to sign it and then I could come back to get a copy.
3. I went to the translator who did not know what form I was talking about. I finally found someone who could figure it out and this person gave me the lost document form. They then sent me to the carabinieri.
4. The one guy that could sign the form wasn’t there. I was told he might be getting coffee or getting his hair cut but no one really knew. I stood outside his door for an hour and then gave up and went home.
5. I came back later that day and everyone was gone for riposo.
6. I returned the next morning and the guy still wasn’t there. I had someone call him but he didn’t answer. No one else knew what this form was and therefore no one could sign it. I waited an hour and finally someone felt bad for me and signed the form.
7. I went back to the registration office and waited for an hour or so to get a copy of my registration.
8. I went back and tried to get in line for the inspection (it was about 10 am in the morning) but they were not taking any more cars before lunch.
9. I came back to inspection again the next day, waited almost an hour and a half, and failed inspection. They wanted new front tires, me to knock a dent out of the bumper, and they told me my front license plate was not properly attached (or in the right place or something). I asked if this was a new law, since my car’s license plate had passed inspection the prior two years. I was told that it was NOT a new law. Ummm, okay.
10. In the next 2 weeks I ordered new tires online, had body work done and the new tires put on, and dropped the van off at another place (that was recommended by the inspection guys) to have an oil change and the plate put on properly.
11. The next day I went to have the van inspected. I got in line behind 3 cars (no one behind me) and showed a guy my “failed” papers. He said “Oh- redoing an inspection? Just wait right here”. We waited for two hours. I got to the front of the line and the guy failed me.
Because the license plate was not properly attached.
Even thought I dropped it off to have it fixed- apparently the guy forgot and the plate wasn’t attached any differently.
Also- he told me you never have to wait to have a car re-inspected and that I could have circumvented the wait by coming around to the back and bypassing the line.
I did the slow blink at the other guy (the one that told me to wait) and he said -I’m paraphrasing here- WHAT?? (Shrug). You were already in line!
And then- I am not proud of this- I.LOST.IT. Like I had a crying meltdown. So embarrassing. Let’s call it frustration + pregnancy + 100 degree temps.
12. I went to another car place and had them fix the plate. It wasn’t open until noon so I left and went home.
13. I came back at noon and had them fix the plate.
14. I went back to inspection, skipped the line and passed. I also apologized for my behavior and hugged the inspection guy. Hahaha.
15. Back to registration office to finish the paperwork. There were 20 people in line. I went home.
16. Back the next day, waited for 1.5 hours, finished the paperwork.
And just like that… in 16 simple steps…my van is registered in an Italy for another year.
Easy peasy, yes?
And by the way- I couldn’t even drink prosecco to make it better!!!
Wish me luck as I get J’s car done this week. And oh yes, I will have to pay a 500 euro road tax too!